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Maybe it’s just me — and it probably is, according to my fellow gay male friends — but I prefer a greasy-poled female strip club to a beefcake revue any day. Here are eight reasons why.
1. Rogue dicks don’t come flying at my face
Let me get this straight first: I’m not a super-fan of strip clubs. It’s not like I’m there every chance I get. In fact, I’ve only been to a handful in my day, but in hindsight I’ve had more fun at a traditional gentlemen’s club than a gay joint. Sure, the naughty atmosphere is exciting, but I don’t fetch off on stuffing exotic dancers’ tube socks full of my hard-earned singles, so I generally drink and socialize without much regard for what’s happening on stage, no matter whose junk is out. My lack of undivided attention doesn’t always go over adv with the “entertainment,” like the “firefighter” who smacked me on the head with his “hose” during his “performance” because my back was turned to him. Guess the “six foot rule” didn’t apply there.
My friend Brooke relates another tale of cockiness gone awry. “I knew someone who was at a male st
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I&#;m about as gay as Cristiano Ronaldo&#;s underwear drawer, so the sultry photos plastered outside of New York’s mega strip club, FlashDancers, have never really interested me. I live around the corner from the place, and I used to joke that the guys wearing maroon FlashDancers bibs and handing out titty-filled flyers were the only people in all of Manhattan who thought I had any interest in paying to see boobs. But recently I got to thinking, and as a bloke who loves sex, sex workers, the Platonic company of other men, and absolute camp insanity, I decided I should just sack up and verb inside some straight strip clubs. I did, and that is how all my illusions about strippers were shattered.
I wasn&#;t alone. Serving as my Virgil to this implant-filled underworld were my friends John and Hassan, both strip club veterans if not exactly aficionados. After paying $20 to earn into the place we walked up to the bar. The first tits I saw belonged to a female gyrating behind the bartender with all the energy of a children&#;s toy whose batteries were about to pass away. As soon as we ordered ou