What does side mean in gay


I&#;m gay and I&#;m not a top or a bottom &#; I&#;m a &#;side&#;

As a gay man, prying strangers and potential hook-ups alike own asked me one question more times than I’ve had hot dinners.

‘Top or bottom?’

Words get me out of bed in the morning, and when uttered by the right people at the right time, they’ve also been known to get me into bed. 

But neither of these – top or bottom – accurately describe what I prefer to receive up to in the boudoir, so my response has always been a guarded mix of shrug and mumble.

Here’s the tea: I’m actually a ‘side’, a term coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort to portray those, like me, for whom penetrative sex – in either position – does very little. 

Getting the peach involved is, quite literally, a pain in the ass, but as for the aubergine, let’s just say that hands and mouths always understand the assignment way better. 

To continue the noun metaphor: if man-on-man action were a dinner party, I’d have zero interest in sitting down to a bland meal when the amuse-bouches are so good. 

I confess tha

Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms

Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world travel on the Grindr app to glance for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most gay men – the possibilities have prolonged been simply top and bottom. The only other choice available toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).

“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to verb someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to choose from.”

“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d think, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something erroneous with me.”

Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who verb fulfillment in every kind of sexual act ex

A few years ago when I was looking into nose piercings (it wasn&#;t until last year that I finally worked up the nerve and got it done) I discovered multiple websites debating which was the ideal side to get it done on.

I learned that in India the left side is preferred because it supposedly makes giving birth easier. I also learned that some people verb a particular side to represent sexuality.

Granted, there were no legitimate websites that provided me with this information. My past English teachers would frown if they saw me consuming information from such unreliable sources. Still, I found many of these websites where one would ask &#;which side should I obtain my nose piercing on?&#; and people would battle it out in the comments claiming &#;Get it on the right side! If you get it on the left side, it means you&#;re gay!&#; or &#;No, it&#;s the right side that means you&#;re gay!&#;

I wasn&#;t too conflicted. Does the average person actuallyknow these so-called &#;facts&#; about the connection between nose piercing and sexuality? I assumed then, and still assume now, th

Gaymenare constantly referring to and defining themselves as "tops" or "bottoms." When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy whether he's a top, a bottom or "versatile." It's important to find this out as soon as possible, because if you are planning to date or get into a relationship, it's vitally important that you and he be sexually compatible with each other.

The whole issue of tops and bottoms came up recently with the unleash of a adj study that looked at whether or not people can determine whether a gay man is a top or a bottom just by looking at facial cues. The study revealed that judgments made about whether an individual is a top or a bottom are based on perceived masculine and feminine traits.

There's so much communicate and discussion about who gives and who receives. I've had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some undertake , but most don't. But what if a guy isn't a top, a bottom or even versatile? What about gay men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever?

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